Divorces Among my Friends

I feel sad about several divorces among my friends.

I know we all see divorces in our social circles and ache for those involved.



When I was fifteen and an older boy wanted to get married, my mother told me, "Marriage is not all moonlight and roses, it is just life. And it can be good and bad. It is life, not a cute Doris Day movie. So don't rush into it."

And I cooled my jets and did not get married until I graduated from college. To someone else, when we were both older and wiser. And we're still married, for better or for worse. And there's plenty of both, LOL

I would love to be able to share with these discouraged, divorcing couples some guidelines from the Lord--guidelines for a happy, healthy family that I don't always find easy to follow, myself, that's for sure. But they make a difference:

Eph 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Again, that's: Eph 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Specifically, here's how:

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved he church and gave himself up for her

Eph 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself.



Eph 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife
as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Read these in context right here for yourself, if you wish.

Then, this from Colossians:

Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Col 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The Jews have a proverb, "Do not make your wife cry for God counts her every tear."

Wow. They base this on Psalm 56:8 "Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: [are they] not in thy book?"

So God does not ignore it when we make each other cry. Tears and fighting in the home actually grieve the Holy Spirit, God within us. Here, Paul writes to the Ephesians:

Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

I love that last verse, and the word, tenderhearted.

I love these ancient writers, these men so madly in love with God. How they desired the world to love Him and each other!

In some relationships, one's kindness and consideration--and tenderheartedness--may not often be reciprocated. That's when we can do good to the other just for the sake of our love of God. He promises He will reciprocate!

Col 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do [it] heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Col 3:24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Col 3:25 But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

I feel responsible to add that forgiveness does not mean staying in harm's way, where there is abuse. And to point out, Paul said, "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace."

I'll stop with this prayer for my family and all families of the whole world for 2007:

Eph 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the Father,

Eph 3:15 from whom his whole family* in heaven and on earth derives its name.

Eph 3:16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

Eph 3:17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

Eph 3:18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, [Description of the cross!]

Eph 3:19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Eph 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Eph 3:21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Relationships are so complicated. Sometimes I have to wonder if some people have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Good relationships take time and effort. And the chemical PEA which has to do with attraction and which runs out after about two years. By then, other elements of a relationship should ideally be firmly in place.

This is not to make anyone feel guilty.

This is just to make them stop and reconsider.

God still loves and uses divorced people. But God hates divorce because it hurts people. Maybe these scriptures will help some people renew the love in their marriages.

And accepting counseling from an objective outsider demonstrates humility and strength and maturity, too.

For those who tried even that and still gave up, I ache with you.

New Year's Resolutions?

Not me, I make'm and break'm all year. PBPGIFWMY!*

But if you want to make some resolutions, such as try to eat better, work faster and accomplish more goals, I recommend Marla Cilley's wonderful routines that teach how to work smarter, not harder, whether you're a complete slob or just want to spend less time to have a lovely home.

For instance, the most important routine of the day is the Bedtime Routine:

1. Lay out your clothes for tomorrow
2. Take a few minutes for yourself
3. Check your Calendar for Tomorrow's Events
4. Spend 2 minutes clearing off your Hot Spots
5. Shine your sink
6. Wash your face, moisturize, brush your teeth and floss
7. Go to bed at a decent hour

She also divides the house into five zones, one for each week of the month, and advocates fifteen minutes a day cleaning them. No Spring Cleaning necessary, it's all done.... And her service is free. God bless Flylady.

My character, Maggie, was pretty organized until the untimely death of her Navy pilot husband. This followed the death of a cab driver who had been kind to them on their honeymoon. Putting two and two together, she blames herself for both deaths and searches in the wrong places for the powers she needs to restore peace to her life. In spite of a spirit-lifting trip to Paris, her fun-loving self disappears in a dark place, and a man who loves her gives up and makes aliyah--moves to Israel where he learns some atonishing things....

Her name is similar to mine, not as an ego trip, and not because of any similarities with the novel, but because what she and I both learned about the name's original meaning, and the effect it had on our lives. This startling information will be available when an editor picks up my book!

There's a good resolution for some savvy editor!

Happy New Year!

*Please Be Patient, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet!

The Fight for our Christmas--Pass it on

Merchants want our Christmas dollars but not our Christmas doctrine. They take our money and trash our beliefs.

Charlie Sheen just blatantly dissed Christmas and Christian with vulgarities on tv. Please click here. The networks would cry political correctness and never allow any other group to be so horribly disrespected.

So, we can make nice and sit home and pray, or we can put feet, or at least, fingers, on our prayers and send in *courteous* complaints to those in charge.

But if we don't speak up, it will be open season on Christians.

And we can pass on this poem I received in email this a.m. It says one thing that isn't true: "Not a Christian is praying or taking a stand." Many are doing just that. Will you?

"The worst evil happens when good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

The Fight Before Christmas

T'was the months before Christmas
When all through our land
Not a Christian was praying or taking a stand
Why the P.C. Police had taken away
The reason for Christmas - no one could say
Children were told by their schools not to sing
About Shepherds, or Wise Men, or Angels and things
It might hurt some feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday"
Yet shoppers were ready with cash and with credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it:
Madonna CD's, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd--
Retailers promoting Ramadan, Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda
As Target was hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - nowhere was found
At K-Mart and Staples, at Penny's and Sears
You won't hear about Christmas; it won't touch your ears
"Inclusive," "sensitive," "diversity"
Are words that they use to intimidate me
Now Daschle, Now Dean, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzer
On Boxer, On Clinton, on Kerry, On Rather
To the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, from all public matter
And we spoke not a word, as they dissed to our face,
We're forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season was stopped where it started
So, celebrate "Winter Break" beneath your "Dream Tree,"
But while sippin' Starbucks, just listen to me ...
Choose your words wisely, choose what you should say
It's MERRY CHRISTMAS to all ... not Happy Holiday!


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Spiritual (lack of?) Disciplines

I've been thinking about this, and I guess the answer changes over time as I or my needs change. Coming from a mainline denomination, I loved three-hymns-and-an-anthem-type services. And I still love the hymns so much. But I now love the praise and worship I find in some other churches, the freedom to stand up with arms upraised in praise and *affection* to my Creator, Lord and Savior.

In dh's mainline church the other night, I heard the most beautiful new Christmas songs about worshiping. It was very hard for me to sit there and not participate as above. I wouldn't say they weren't worshiping as they sat there, listening, participating with full hearts. But my favorite form of worship is different, now.

(One dictionary gives "affection" as a definition of "reverence." And it's not to get attention, but is based on the scripture, "Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and bless (make happy) the Lord." Or the last of the Psalms, which even call for dance. Why not?)

Now that we're retired, I love my newest ritual--pour a cup of coffee and get back under the kivvers with coffee and Bible. I go over previous sermon notes, or just freely look through the Word to see what stands out that day. Moreover, I find if I'm in an organized Bible study with daily homework, Beth Moore being a favorite, I see God's hand in my life more than when I'm not. I love to sit there with pen in hand and underline and make notes in the margin. This morning, I learned that Herod was an Edomite. Edom is where the descendants of Esau went. That figures, huh? I visited the capital of Edom--Petra. Fascinating place, featured in my wip.

I find this topic a most interesting study, possibly coming true as we speak: Click here.

Then there's one I'm not very good at, fasting. Derek Prince once wrote that we speak about prayer, we ask for prayer, we rejoice in answers to prayer, we discuss prayer. But we've almost lost a great spiritual weapon, fasting, because we don't talk about doing it. The few times I've been successful at it, I can't even say I've seen direct answers to the prayers I prayed. They were huge, long-range prayers and I haven't seen the answer yet, unless it's "Wait." Or sometimes, fasting and praying for someone's healing, and they were not healed. But I didn't feel ignored for it. And God has His reasons.

"I believe, therefore, I speak." I'm seeing if praying aloud is more effective in my relationship with the Lord than is praying silently. I love the discipline and the lack of "discipline" in prayer, a running conversation with my constant Companion.

Cute counterfeit of a cute counterfeit

One of the most gorgeous smiles God ever made appeared on the face of Elvis Presley. (Please indulge me, LOL! )

I had a blast recently at an outstanding Elvis impersonator's concert.

The "young Elvis" gave away a teddy bear and a hound dog and "How Great Thou Art" had us on our feet twice, applauding.

The "Las Vegas Elvis" opened with "2001 a Space Odyssey" and "CC Rider" and gave away dozens of scarves. He gave me one, along with a smile. I waved the scarf and draped it around my neck as I returned to my seat laughing.

(With the real Elvis, I would have been cool and aloof, don't you know, LOL)

This counterfeit King of Rock and Roll was cute and sweet as he signed autographs. We all just laughed and loved the game. And Elvis did not like being called The King, one of his buddies reported, saying that Elvis said the only King is Jesus.

C

Counterfeits live all around us in the world and it is no game. Some appear on our doorsteps, unaware they are totally lost, offering us their own eternal trap.

The apostle Paul warned us in Galatians 1:9 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.

There are no new revelations, no new ways to be saved, no new saviors for a new time or place. Only one way:

Jude 3 warns us, Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once and for all time delivered to the saints.

My heroine Maggie turned to a counterfeit. Her heart had broken twice and she felt betrayed by God. She turned to the occult for answers. The answers were not what she expected, from this counterfeit.

A good counterfeit only points out the value of the original.

As we worship, as we love, as we write, let us be true to the real thing--the standard God gives us.

Let us not forsake our first love, as did the first church listed in Revelation, or we may evolve to be like the seventh and last church, poor, wretched, miserable, blind and too blind to know it.

(As I look here at world politics and alliances and events I suspect we are already in the seventh church age. We must hold fast to our crowns.)

Elvis, himself a counterfeit of sorts, was called a king, worshiped by some, but how much wiser to worship the King of Kings who gave His life so that we could have eternal life.

And while we dance to the music of the King of Rock and Roll, and cheer and clap for our favorite football team, why not also consider the words of King David, "a man after God's own heart:" "for the Lord takes delight in His people"--







"Praise Him in dance!"

Wishing on Dandelions

I just finished Mary DeMuth's _Wishing on Dandelions_ and I am overwhelmed. The book is fabulous!

In spite of the darkness of this young heroine's experience, the story sparkles. Although her perceptions are colored by her horrible past experience, Maranatha presses on.

I confess, I was a little timid about reading such a heavy theme. I like my entertainment light and cheerful. But the abuse from _Watching the Tree Limbs_, which I also loved, is alluded to, not graphic, and while I hurt with Mara, I also laughed, rejoiced, and cheered her on, because there is much more to both books than the experience itself.

With courage, irony, humor, hope and often faltering faith, she triumphs with the help of some friends, her own strong spirit, and Jesus. And the faith message is woven through naturally. I imagine I will sometimes call upon Maranatha's example of doing the right thing when it was very, very hard.

Sometimes I laughed out loud, sometimes I wiped away tears. I loved both books.

Scroll down to read the author's thoughts. Leave a comment there or right here to enter a drawing for a free copy of this delightful book. I draw a name tomorrow, Saturday afternoon.

AND YOU'LL BE SAD as a scalded dog
If you don't leave a comment on my blog
For I give this book away tomorrow
And it's one you'll never let another borrow!

(With apologies to Camilla.)

Mary DeMuth's discusses her _Wishing on Dandelions_--leave a comment for a chance to win it!

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Mary DeMuth's four-class track, Inside Out Fiction: How Cultivating an Inner Life with Jesus Deepens our Stories was my own emphasis at the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference in Dallas this month.

Mary, many excellent classes are offered on the craft of writing, but this is the first track I can recall with the emphasis on the influence of our writing life and Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our Faith (whose own work has been a best-seller for centuries, as we know.) It was wonderful.

Thanks for coming by to tell us about the sequel to Watching the Tree Limbs, your latest novel, Wishing on Dandelions.


This book deals with difficult subject matter: childhood sexual abuse and its residual affects. How did this book emerge?

My passion is to write about redemption through the avenue of story. I started the first book, Watching the Tree Limbs, in a flurry. In my mind I saw the streets of Burl and a girl who didn’t know where she came from. Because my personal story involves different instances of sexual abuse, I wanted to write a story that showed the reader how God could intersect an abuse-victim’s life and make a difference.

So, are you Maranatha?

In some ways yes, some no. Like Maranatha, I felt like God had transformed my life in such a radical way (like her name change from Mara—bitter—to Maranatha). Like Maranatha, I endured sexual abuse, but I was much younger when it happened. Like Maranatha, I wondered if I had been marked, that every sexual predator could “tell” I was a ready victim. I wrestled through relationships in my teens with Maranatha’s twin feelings of revulsion and attraction. But, she is not me in many other ways. She is more independent. She has no parents. She lives in an entirely different culture. She is less ambitious. She has the privilege of many wiser people to mentor her through life.

What made you decide to write a love story?

The book didn’t start out in my mind as a love story, but it evolved into it as I continued writing. Characters have that uncanny way of taking your prose and running in all sorts of directions with it. Charlie just kept being faithful. In a sense, I fell in love with him!

What made you choose East Texas as the setting for both novels?

The South fascinates me. I grew up in the Northwest. When my last child was born, my husband was transferred to East Texas to start a department in a hospital. Because I was a stay-at-home mom and home schooling, I didn’t have much else to do there except to observe small town southern culture. Because I didn’t grow up in that culture, my senses were heightened and I eventually began to really appreciate the differences.

Childhood sexual abuse is not talked about very often, and seldom covered in novels. What made you decide to write about it?

For that very reason. The more victims are quiet, the less healing they will receive. The more we talk about it, bringing heinous acts to the light, the better able we are to know we are not alone. I wrote this book so other abuse victims would feel validated and heard. And to offer hope.

Why do you end your books with hope?

Because hope is essential to Jesus’ Gospel. Even when things are bleak, there is always hope—if not in this life, then in the next. I’m not interested, however, in presenting hope in a superfluous way. I don’t want to tie up every story thread neatly. The truth is, life is tragic and difficult and bewildering, but God intersects that life and brings hope.

Have you always wanted to write?

Yes. Since my second grade teacher told my mother that she thought I was a creative writer, I’ve wanted to write. I kept a diary since the sixth grade. Though I was an English major, I didn’t start writing seriously until my first daughter was born. I wrote for ten years in obscurity before my writing career took a turn for the better.

Who are your literary heroes?

I love Harper Lee. I only wish she’d written more. Leif Enger, who wrote Peace Like a River, greatly inspired me to write visually and artistically. I love Sue Monk Kidd’s Secret Life of Bees, how you could almost taste her characters. I’m fascinated and intimidated by J.R.R. Tolkein—how he managed to create an entire world with several languages is way beyond my literary prowess.

What do you want your reader to take away from Wishing on Dandelions?

That redemption of a broken life takes time. We’re all on a journey of healing. Sometimes it’s slow going, but if we can endure through the dark times, God will bring us to new places of growth. I want the images and characters to stay with a reader for a long time.

And I'm sure they will. They're well-drawn and have depth--or shallowness, as the case may be, LOL. I've just seen your wedding with a rather trying bride. She is so well-drawn. loved the first book and am halfway into the second. I love the characters, mood, the strong sense of place, and being in that young girl's head with her young thoughts, her pain and her undaunted optimism. The stories are charming and deal with important themes.

Now, recently, you told me you saw differences between the Northwest and Texas. That you found the people in the NW more likely to invite you to their homes, and in Texas, you saw people more open with their Christianity, or words to that effect. I love how you describe one of your Southern characters, who shall remain unnamed, after he or she dies as now jitterbugging with Jesus. (I enjoy a lively church, too. :) Did you base Maranatha's wonderful church friends on real people in Texas?

Actually, those friends existed in my head, although I’m sure that they’re all a composite of folks I’ve met along the road of faith.

How would you sum up the point of your class, Inside Out Fiction?

What’s inside us is what spills out on the page. How can we write about turnarounds or redemption if we haven’t dared embraced either? How can we pen words about healing if we’re unwilling to go there ourselves? Our words flow from our hearts. To deepen our words, we must ask God to continually change our hearts.

I surely do. Merci beaucoup for the visit, Mary. Au revoir, come back soon. We'll miss you beaucoup.

All, leave a comment to be eligible to have your name drawn to win a free copy of Wishing on Dandelions. I'll announce the winner on Saturday, October 7th.

ACFW CONFERENCE PHOTOS!

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American Christian Fiction
Writers Conference

New Beginnings

Dallas, Texas

September 21 - 24, 2006

Isaiah 43:19"Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." KJV

What fun! Like church camp! No counselors! Just agents and editors! LOL! Seeing familiar faces, connecting not-so-familiar faces with familiar names; singing, praise and worship, and learning enough to make your blessed brain bubble! Thanks to all who worked behind the scenes and visibly--including the chef and the rest of the staff--to bless us all sooo much!

"Your name is a strong and mighty tower, Your name..."

I HATE the word, "incredible"!

Of course, we mean "awesome," "wonderful." But technically, it means "not believable." And over and over, I hear it used of God! I hear good Christians say "God did the most ( not believable) thing--"

Hey! Are we believers or not?

Is God believable or not?

Does the "not believable" part sink down into our spirits and hinder our faith? I suspect, quite likely, it does.

I love Beth Moore's 5-point pledge:

God is who He says He is (hold up index finger)
God can do what He says He can do (next finger, etc.)
I am who God says I am
I can do all things through Christ
God's Word is alive and active in me! (thumb)

I'm (point thumb at self) believin' (point to head--your head!) God! (point upwards--or to your heart--that'll work! See below: )

Earlier, I mentioned today's political alliances, wars and rumors of war, weather, diseases, and the fact that Israel has been a nation again since 1948--the fig tree budding, Matthew 28--probably place us in the very Last Days.

If so, that could place us as the last of the churches through the ages--the Laodicean Church of (click on:) Revelation 3.

This is not a good thing. Jesus had not one good thing to say about this arrogant church!

He called it "poor, wretched, miserable, blind and naked." Blind to our own blindness?

Not believing, not obeying, not receiving all He has for us--"The gifts of God are irrevocable." "Come behind in no gift waiting for the revelation of Jesus Christ."--not walking in all His gifts, not having even an idea of all the blessings we're missing.

That would surely be me.

That would surely be my heroine, who looks for answers in sex, drugs and--voodoo. She pays a terrible price. But she's sweet, kind, a good mother and so wounded, and God is good and never lets go.

Of her or me. Thank God.

I just want to say, Please, God, show us if we're being Laodicean in our acts, our attitudes, our lack of faith, our writing. You say You stand at the door of the Laodicean church and the door of our hearts as well, and knock, wanting to come in.

Come in, Lord Jesus, into our hearts and into our churches.

Come in quickly and make us more like You in ways we can't imagine. Amen.

This is funny. Are you the guy in the backseat?

This is funny! Click on this little 30-second clip. Too cool!

If you're the guy in the backseat, scroll down now to July 27. Whoa!

Leave a comment, if you like.